At the January 2007 Higher Balance retreat in Kalani Hawaii, I had some remarkable experiences. And after getting home and reflecting on the things that I had experienced, I realized that I had added meaning to words that spiritual teachers use, but I did not fully understand. I did not yet have the experiences behind the words.
How do I put into words… the things I have experienced and the changes that have happened?
There is always talk about multi-dimensional consciousness. I have never spent time thinking about it because it never had any meaning for me. I could not even conceive of what it might be. This last week in Hawaii I experienced a brief moment of tuning into dimensional information during the dimensional portal class. It was an ah ha moment for me.
Now I am starting to hear the tones and see auras. I am starting to identify thoughts I have that did not originate with me. I am starting to understand how I send my energy to other people in my life. I now feel a closer connection to my emotions. I feel like I just experienced a pivotal point in my life. Now up to me take advantage of this new found opportunity before it fades.
When I hugged my Star Reach Academy coach after the retreat was over, it was very emotional for me. I felt a connection… a feeling in my chest… a pain, a love, the suffering, the joy, an acknowledgment, an understanding… But this feeling transcended words, it was much more spiritual than to a normal human emotion. It hit my chest hard, like an internal emotional version of Mind Storm. I savor this moment. I am trying to fly-fish now instead of just casting a net…
To me, the synchronicity of that week defies words. Even now I can breathe with the Force, with purpose… and move my hands in that way and re-creates an internal emotion, a feeling… from this last week. It feels so good. I want to sing, to dance, to blast the music, to be ALIVE, to commune with the Universe…
So many things I have experienced and I have not let myself really, truly deep down experience. Music… My expectations… of what I thought spiritual should be kept me from deeper understanding. I used to have this bond with music, hundreds of CDs from dozens of genres, but only one song here, one song there, the ones that spoke to me. I stopped doing this. I forgot music. I have been listening to talk radio or Eric Pepin or to the silence. Now I am full of this rekindled love from my youth.
Thoughts that are not my own… The Ties that Bind… High Guard… I did not understand. I thought energy was structural. I thought I could only feel it with my hands. I thought I could only move it with my hands. It is so much more. Ten thousand strands of webbing connect us. The webbing is inside of us. We think we are separate from the webbing, that we only exist inside our skin. We exist out there, we are the webbing. There is no spider, just webbing.
Hawaii loosened the connection to our bodies, and loosened the hold the matrix has on us. I got angry this week because someone next to me got angry. I got sick this week because someone in my life was sick and they felt intense pain. I had that illness and I had immunity. I recreated this sickness in me… through sympathy, through empathy.
I have to separate from from the spider web of life. I have to create a spider. I have to become a spider. I have to pick and choose the webs I stand on.
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